Have you ever battled with
your right to harbor an unforgiving spirit?
When you are hurt by what someone says or does, do you feel you have the
“right” to turn that person off, shun him, or even hate him? When things just aren’t the way they used to
be, do you feel you have the “right” to keep it that way?
I have been teaching the
biblical precepts of forgiveness from my book What Happens When Women Pray
for several years now. I used to wonder how effective this teaching
was—if the actual forgiving really worked.
But I don’t wonder
anymore. One of the greatest joys has
been watching these instructions bring visible results in the lives of those
doing the forgiving. I have been
astounded at the gains that have come to those who have been deeply hurt and
then, by forgiving, have indicated their willingness to give up, lose their
“right” to nurse a wounded spirit.
Forgiving others does not
come easy, but when I have seen the results in my own life, it motivates me to
forgive again.
While living in the Philippines
We lived in what was called
a Church House. It was a large building
that had two apartments on the first floor, an open space for a church, a small
apartment, and then our 700 square foot apartment on the second floor. At one point we had 26 people living,
working, and socializing in this building.
Now, I cannot stand bad
relationships, so I was constantly working on the relationships in this living arrangement.
There was one missionary woman
that I really did not like very much.
She lived in one of the lower level apartments with her husband and
three children. She was not
involved in ministry, so I wondered why she was there.
Many things happened that
created negative relationships with her. I
did not want to even be around her. I
avoided seeing her.
Then one day God impressed
on my heart that I needed to talk to this women and invite her to do a Bible
study together. My response to God was,
“No Way!” I tried to ignore God’s
prompting in my life, but totally lacked peace in the situation. Finally I said to God, “OK, I’ll ask her,
she’ll say no, and that will be that.”
It took a lot of courage to
talk to this woman. I really could not
do it on my own. I asked God to give me
what I needed to ask her. Then one day,
it happened.
I saw her outside and
realized this was the time for me to talk to her. So I asked her if we could talk. I said, “I was thinking about doing a Bible
study and wondered if you would like to do it with me.” I was waiting for her to say, “No”, but I was
shocked when she said “yes”.
We began to meet together
once a week to go through a Bible study together. What I discovered is when you have
an unforgiving heart with someone, if you study the Bible together with them,
everything changes.
Little by little as we
talked together, I began to understand the “whys” in her life. She had been on the mission field for a long
time and was worn out. She was due to go
back to the States for good and she had shut down. She was hurting.
When she ended up leaving to
return to the states I could wrap my arms around her and tell her that I loved
her, and really mean it. Only God can do
this in a relationship.
I gained a lot by losing my
pride and just being obedient to God. It
felt wonderful.
Since then I have written a
Bible Study called, “The Fruits of the Spirit”. This study was written for people who are
having relationship problems. When you
learn together about the Fruits of the Spirit, it is hard to stay mad at
someone. God transforms a bad
relationship into a love relationship. If you are interested in having this study,
send me an e-mail and I’ll send it to you.
youjustwrite@gmail.com
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever
grievances you may have against one another.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Dear God,
Please speak to me about any relationship in my life
that requires forgiveness. Please help
me to follow through with actions. Thank
you for speaking to me. Please help me
to listen.
We have three more weeks in this book "Gaining Through Losing".
1. Losing My Rights to My Money
2, Losing My Right to be an Unfit Christian
3. Losing My Right to be Free from Suffering
The next book will be a 6 week study called, What Happens When Women (Men) Pray. For the next 12 weeks, we are going to add men to this title. I hope it will be ok with Evelyn. I know this book is for everyone, so for the next 6 weeks we will call it, "What Happens When We Pray." The chapters are shorter, so we will try and do two chapters a week. Invite your friends to join us.
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