Praying when loved ones die

Quote from the book, What Happens When We Pray For Our Families. Evelyn, page 160

LISTENING PRAYERS
The most important prayers we pray during family death situations are listening prayers.  Death is a time we need to receive from God, when we need to hear what He has to say to us.

The night my mother died, I had asked God a myriad of questions.  But it was in my lying still--listening—that I received answers.  It was then God, in His part of the prayer conversation, could bring His divine answers into my reeling brain, divinely settling my questions.

When we receive the news that a family member’s death is inevitable (the illness is terminal), or is imminent (any moment they will go) or has occurred (too late to avoid), it is normal to bombard God with questions.  Questions of why like this?  Why now? Questions of disbelief.  Confused and bewildered questions.  Angry questions asking God why He allowed it.  Asking why He hadn’t performed that miracle He was capable of doing when we had prayed for it so long.  But usually we stop at the asking, not taking time to wait on God for His answers.

The only way we can find out how all-sufficient God can be at times like this, is to stop talking at Him and let Him show us who He really is—the omnipotent God of heaven.  Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”  KJV

Being still and listening is something I can easily forget, but when I have lost someone I love, stillness and listening has kept me going.

Life is busy, filled with so many challenges.  When I am wrapped up in life, it takes a conscience effort to be still and listen to God.

Losing someone I love has forced me to be still and listen because the need for God in my life during these times becomes so real.

I remember the moment that my mother was rushed into Jesus arms.  The look on her face comforted me because I knew she saw something she recognized.  So for my mom, she was headed to a place she had always dreamed of going, Heaven.  But how do I handle it?

Reading this chapter of Evelyn’s book opened my eyes to the importance of really LISTENING and letting God speak to me about what I need to hear when I have lost a loved one.

You know, LISTENING Prayers are so important every day of my life, but how can I really listen?

I need to STOP everything I am doing, rest, and then listen by reading the Bible, attending a church service, listening to a motivational CD of just visiting with a friend. God uses many ways to speak to me, but the key is to stop and LISTEN to him.

…and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to him…  Deuteronomy 30:20a

Dear God,

Please help me to take the time to pray LISTENING prayers about everything.  You want to speak to me and encourage me, but I need to take the time to LISTEN.

 

.

 

 

A Gift from God

Quote from the book what Happens When We Pray For Our Families. Evelyn: page 156

Chris’ and my praying for our family developed gradually.  First we always dedicated the child of each of our seven pregnancies the moment we knew I was expecting.  Then we came to the place of praying much about having babies who would be healthy and live.  We also prayed for each of them throughout the pregnancy.  But it was at their actual births that we especially dedicated them in prayer to God.  They were HIS—for His will.  They were His gift to us for as long as they would live.  We knew well that they were the Lord’s gifts to us.  “Behold, children are a gift from the Lord’ (Ps. 127:3).  That psalm is often quoted at birth celebrations, christenings, baby showers, and on birth announcements.  And it is believed by most Christians.

But I wonder how often we actually practice what it says.  Yes, children are a gift—but not from any human source.  They are a gift from the Lord.  So God deserves, and expects, to be included in every aspect of conception and birth.

And how do we include Him?  Through prayer.  Prayers of asking Him for a baby, then prayers of releasing our wills for His, prayers of protection while the baby is developing, and prayers of thanksgiving.  And sometimes, when all has not gone well at the birth, there my be prayers of anger toward God, prayers of telling him of our heartache, but then eventually prayers of thanksgiving because we know He does all things well.

I woke up at 4 am this morning.  I curled up in my soft warm bed and finished reading this chapter, Prayers at Family Births.  My heart was touched by every word in this chapter, but what really spoke to my heart was Evelyn Christenson’s dedication to prayer for EVERYTHING IN HER LIFE.

 

What a shining example of what we as mothers, grandmothers, fathers, and grandfathers can do for our families.  The most important thing of all, PRAY FOR OUR FAMILIES.

 

Life is busy.  There are so many things to do.  Evelyn’s life was a shining example of what serving God means.  Even though she was traveling around the world with the ministry God had for her, she used the power of prayer for her connection to God and her children.

She longed to be with her family when grandchildren were born, but her ministry would not always allow for her to do this.  Instead of feeling sorry for herself and getting discouraged, she prayed right where she was for each child/family who was blessed with a new baby.  She prayed for each new grandchild from the moment they were conceived.

Evelyn was a Godly woman of prayer.  Her example of praying about everything shines through in the heart of all of her books.  I am sure her family misses her being here with them, but what they have gained from watching her life must be forever etched on their hearts.

Thank you Evelyn Christiansen for your shining light in my life.  You have inspired me all of my life and I know you would want God to receive the glory for it.  Trust me; your love relationship with God has definitely brought glory to God.

 

Psalms 63:3

Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.

 

Dear God,

You are an amazing God.  I love you with all of my heart.  I pray that the actions of my life will glorify you.  You are the one who deserves the praise.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Releasing Prayers

Quote from the book what Happens When We Pray For Our Families. Evelyn: page 124, 125,132

VERY EARLY NEW YEAR’S morning of 1990 I was lying in bed praying for each child, grandchild, and my husband, not only for a new year but for a new decade.  I prayed for each one individually – for specific needs and then for God to fill each with Himself.  Then an overwhelming feeling swept over me that I should release my whole family to God.

Released – not to just anybody—but to God.

No, this is releasing them to the omniscient God of the universe!  He knows the end from the beginning, knows all the ‘whys” and “what ifs” of our lives.  He alone is capable—and worthy—to have us entrust our human possessions to Him.

And in releasing prayers, a new realization that they are HIS, not ours, emerges.

Honestly, the thought that crossed my mind as I began to read this chapter was, “I will just skip writing about this chapter.”  I have had to learn so much about releasing one of my children to God this past year and the thought of releasing my whole family to God was a bit overwhelming. 

Why would it hard for me to release my whole family to God?

Releasing my family is letting go and letting God.  This means not praying what I want for my husband and children, but totally letting go and allowing God to make their lives what he has planned.

Isn’t this what I have been doing all of their lives?  “Why is this so hard for me?  I want God’s plan for my family and I know he has a great plan for each of them.  The hard part for me is that often it takes pain and suffering to make us willing to follow God’s plan for lives.  It is like I am praying for pain and suffering to happen in their lives.  It has been a hard year, how could I possibly pray for more?

When I read Lord Change Me for the first time, it was very challenging to let go and allow God to change me.  Change often hurts. 

Then the second time I read the book I understood reading it and following the challenges put before me, could be hard.  Yet, God had been with me through it all and many wonderful changes happen within me.  I needed to just trust God.

So do I avoid a possible time of pain and suffering to bring about changes in my family, by not praying?  I have an amazing family, so there might not be any hard times because of my prayers.  BUT AM I WILLING TO LET GO AND LET GOD NOT MATTER WHAT? 

When we can’t touch, God can.

Quote from the book what Happens When We Pray For Our Families.                              Evelyn: page 123

There are times when family members deliberately cut off touching.  A child runs away or a spouse disappears.  Also there are times when family members could touch, but are emotionally separated and refuse to communicate.  Perhaps they have distanced themselves from the family deliberately because of sin, rebellion, aloofness, an independent lifestyle, or an unforgiving spirit.  Our arms ache to hold that dear one close to us—us in years past, but he or she will not allow it….

This is a sign loved ones need their distance—but also is a sign they need prayer more than ever…

There is no distance too great, and there is no rift too wide, to stop prayer.

God is so good.  He gives us just what we need when we need it. This chapter is perfect timing for me.  Thank you God!

Last night was a perfect spring/summer evening.  I sat on my porch looking into the dark night sky, sprinkled with many twinkling stars.  My mind wandered to a loved one who lives on the far side of our country, who is going through a very difficult time.  It is so hard to know how he is doing because our communication is hard because he does not have a phone.  As I looked up into the heavens, I prayed, “Oh God, please help me to remember that you are taking care of my loved one.”   Within a few minutes a falling star passed right in front of me.  It took my breath away.  I don’t know if God was trying to show me that he was there taking care of my loved one, but I felt an overwhelming peace after the tail of the falling star disappeared.

I cannot reach my arms around my loved one, but God can.  Totally trusting God is what keeps me going, but at times it is so hard to let go, and let God.  Prayer is my constant companion to keep me going.  I know God loves my family member, I know God knows my heart and I know he loves my family member more than I ever could.

This passage of my life is bringing a phase of totally trusting God, like never before because it is all I have.  I can’t touch, but God can.

 

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

 

Dear God,

I trust in you.  I leave my loved one in your hand.  Please fill me with your joy and peace as I trust in you.  In Jesus' name, Amen.